definitions in camp

Thought I would share a little story that is being repeated again and again in the camp kitchen. It involves Radio, the dishwasher and the 1st cook (who was the witness so we know that the dishwasher is no exaggerating like he usually does).

Radio was talking to the dishwasher about doing some other jobs around the camp during the slow times in the kitchen. Personally, this in itself boggles my mind considering that the dining area appliances have not been cleaned in two weeks, as I was the last one to clean them all when I was the dishwasher and it is part of the dishwashers job during the day to keep the dining area clean and in order. The current dishwasher just comes in, does the dishes that have piled up over the 45 minute period complaining about how cooks make too many dishes and then disappears for 45 minutes instead of doing the cleaning in the front. But anyways, Radio always tries to tell this dishwasher to go and do other little odd jobs around the camp. So, here is how the conversation played out, though I will take out the swearing cause except for one part it really is not needed. Though if you want, throw in derogatory statements to the dishwasher by Radio and Radio by the dishwasher randomly about every 2nd to 3rd word and you will have the whole conversation:

Radio (R): Ok, when the guys are done with their job you are going to go with them to clean the new camp.

Dishwasher (DW): right, how long will that be?

R: I don't know. Not sure how long it will take them.

D: what are they doing that you dont know how long it will take?

R: they are draining the berm.

D: what is a berm?

R: *scratches his head, looks around in confusion* ummm..a berm...well a berm is...a berm is like...a berm is sort of...*blurts out in frustration* Well, it is a mother F*%*%n berm!

D: *looks in confusion*

1st cook: ok then, thanks for clearing up that confusion.

R: *mutters some curses and derogatory statements at the two and walks off quickly*

So, now of course, after this little conversation happened the whole week has been filled with little snippets of it, plus the whole story. The 1st cook and dishwasher will randomly come by each other and ask "so, exactly what is a berm?" to which the response is exactly what Radio said "well, it is a mother F%&^$ berm!". There is also a twist on the conversation where they will pick random things and ask about them. For example:

"are there any shallots in the fridge?"

"whats a shallot?"

"well, it is a mother F&%^$n shallot!"

so, yeah, those are the people that I get to work with. Today is fly day but does not look promising. Cloud ceiling at 900 feet, freezing rain and high winds are making all contributing to it being iffy that anyone is going to be flying today. Which does not phase me much since I am not flying but the people today are going to be a little annoyed. As long as it is clear for next week. I was also thinking how it is funny that when I am returning to camp to work, I always seem to get the aged/experienced pilot that no matter what the weather is like he will fly and land the plane. It could be total fog as far as the eye can see, so thick that you could literally cut it with a knife and serve it on a piece of bread; or winds blowing like a tornado with rain coming down so much that you might see a 200 year old man out on the tundra building a big boat and telling the rabbits 'no, only two...only two!' with Zeus himself throwing lightening bolts at the plane for target practice and the pilot will fly and land that plane. But when I am leaving camp to go home to the Mrs, I get a pilot that if even one snow flake falls or there is a slight breeze in the air, the pilot deems it unsafe to fly and the whole flight is cancelled. Guess it is just my luck huh? guess we will just see what happens later today and next Wednesday.