sleeping in meetings

Remember how I mentioned the fire safety meeting and how it was run by Abbot from Abbot and Costello? well, I have now discovered that their ability to be dimwits in meetings is not due to inexperience. These guys actually have lesser important meetings where they can practice their skills at being inefficient time wasters. It seems that ever month they have a big general safety meeting where every department has a representative and one day they do a tour of the entire camp (the whole lot of about 10 people) and write down all the safety hazards that they see in their, or other peoples, areas. They will then have a short meeting about what they have witnessed of problems. This allows the representatives to become aware of those problems and try to make corrections. The next day they will gather for another meeting in a conference room to discuss the minutes of the last months meeting as well as go over the things that they have seen and how it is going to be corrected. In theory, when you hear it, this sounds perfectly acceptable and is even a smart thing to do. But, like the saying goes "make a trap idiot proof and someone is just going to build a better idiot".

First off there was a motion brought up and discussed for about 10 minutes on how they should have the tour and then wait for about a week before the meeting to discuss what has been done to fix the things that they saw on the tour. Seems 24 hours to fix major problems like spills, lack of signing and possibly lose or dangers wires is just too short a time. Now, if this was the first or second meeting ever in this fashion I can say "ok, no problem. They are working out the kinks". However, these meetings have been going on since November of last year. Guess it took them 10 meetings to realize "hey, this whole tour and then meeting in a 24 hour period is kinda hard..maybe we should slow it down". As well, needing 10 minutes to discuss it? mention we should have a week, evidence that it is hard to get things done, motion seconded and passed and move on; 4 minutes tops.

I had my one and only laugh in the meeting when they discussed an incident about a guy in a pick up truck that nearly drove off the road because he was 'distracted by mosquitoes'. Yeah, ok, lesson learned. Don't swat mosquitoes in your truck when you are driving. Loved how that made it to the incident reports for the month. Figure if I was in that truck and did that, I wouldn't tell anyone.

Once they started talking about how there was a problem with the main entrance steps, seems they were lowered by an inch and now causing pain to workers that are not used to the drop when they step out and fall that extra inch, I fell asleep. We aren't talking bobbing for apples kind of dozing that you do in a car or on a plane, but we are talking full bore 'head on chest, hands in lap, snoring and possibly drooling' sleep. The safety guy (replacement to the one that held the fire safety meeting) caught me and said that there was no sleeping in a safety meeting. At that moment I wished I had the presense of mind to wake up with a jerk and go "say something of importance or interest and I will stay awake". Instead all I got out was the witty "am up...am up" with a wide eyed look like a 2nd grader that has just been caught napping in English class. So far I have been treated as a type of celebrity. Apparently falling asleep in one of these waste of time meetings has been the dream of all people that have attended but they have never actually done it.

I mean, how can you honestly stay awake and take the meeting seriously when the main safety person calls helicopter pilots 'glorified taxi drivers'? There was a safety incident reported last month where a small window in the helicopter was cracked. Something about a basket was removed to store cargo and the passenger put something where it shouldn't have been and when a door closed it went through the small window. Upon mentioning this the main safety guy basically said "in my opinion, these helicopter pilots are glorified taxi drivers. The pilot may be in charge of the craft but the passenger is in charge of his possessions. Whereever the passenger wants to put his equipment, he puts it. The pilot has no say in the matter." No one said anything about it. So either they were like me and so stunned at this stupid statement or they were all to worried about saying something and possibly losing their job or offending someone that could make their life miserable with paperwork. The passenger might be in charge of their belongings but if the pilot tells you to put something somewhere you listen or else don't get in the stupid helicopter. When you can fly the thing yourself and take responsibility for the expensive piece of equipment then you can call them taxi drivers.

Either which way, now I have a better idea as to what these people do all day. Mindless meetings which are good in theory but are a waste of time once mismanaged and not taken seriously.