first official tweet up

Last night the Mrs took me to my first official 'tweet-up'. Seems that is a gathering of people that meet at a specific location not because they are close personal friends but because someone on twitter sent out a message saying that a lot of people should show up at this one location for a dinner/drink session to actually put a human face to a twitter name. I was told that it was a pretty good showing of about 40-50 people through-out the night. It was definitly interesting to watch and be there that was for sure.

Everyone was definitly friendly and mingled with others and learned their first names. I remember hearing around the table once when someone asked if they had seen 'Bill' there and that question was met with a confused look on the other persons face. However, once it was asked if they had seen the guy who goes by a certain screen name, understanding dawned on the person and they said that no they had not seen this certain screen name present. People would walk around the room and introduce themselves first by their screen name and then by their birth name. Being an anti-tweeter I had no name so I either came across as rude or just plain mysterious when I only gave my birth name and they just looked at me expecting more to come that never did. Like when someone starts a story with no finish/punch line like "yeah, I went to the mall yesterday..wow" and you stand there for a second expecting a finish that will never come. Perhaps it was also like when you meet a business contact for the first time and they usually give you their full name and you just shake their hand and go "Jim" like you really don't want to give out too much personal information to this person after they told you their personal info.

I also found it amusing watching the Mrs and the lady that was sitting with us because when we first got there we sat down, introduced ourselves, found out that the lady was a new tweeter of only a month and had a few laughs. After the initial sit down chat the Mrs pulls out her cell phone and starts to check her tweets. The lady does this as well, either checking the updated tweets or any text messages that she has received. One guy, after hearing the Mrs tale of woe about not having a certain type of phone that can attach to the internet, pulls out his laptop and offers it to her to check the internet. We had trouble getting logged on to the internet connection because we didnt have the password but a friend of the server managed to get the password written on a piece of paper that suddenly circulated the room like a bag of crack in a college kids dorm. People were walking up to others that were sitting there, leaning in gently and going "psst...you got the password? need the password do ya?" and the table having been disconnected from the internet so long brightened up at the prospect of this 'password' being delivered. However, the connection was bad and the laptop kept getting disconnected so it was pushed aside and only the cell phone was used.

"do you follow me?" was the question on everyone's lips that night. It seemed that the common way of introducing yourself would be, "hi, I'm ScreamingMuskrat12 also known as Jim...do you follow me?". To which the responce would be "hi, I'm SmootheringMama145 also known as Carol..this is my husband BadgeredMale239 also known as Bruce...oh yeah, I have read your tweets...do you follow us?" After a bit of hearing that my mind kicked in and I had a thought. It seems that in twitter world it is called 'following', in the real world it would have been called 'stalking'. Guess each world has their own definitions huh?

All in all it was definitly an interesting and enjoyable evening. The Mrs really had fun meeting all the people that she reads on twitter and putting a face to their tweets. She met a few new people that I am sure she has added to her follow list and I am sure she has been added to many other follow lists around the city as well. Being the social hermit that I am I wasn't as friendly and personable the evening through however I did have an interesting discussion on books with one rather interesting gentleman and managed to see a table sit magician perform some slight of hand tricks with red foam balls and a deck of playing cards. He didn't make the table disappear or anything disappear and reappear in his arm like Chris Angel does but he did do his tricks rather well and had me wanting to see it again and again so that I could see the slight of hand and where the ball went during the trick.

So I would say that the tweet-up would have been classed as a good success for the evening. Think everyone had a good time and no one went away disappointed at the whole night. Though this evening still doesn't make me want to get a cell phone and definitly I do not want to get attached to twitter.

Business of Pleasure

Ever get one of those customer appreciation surveys in a restaurant or theatre show? Yeah, me too.

Ever get to the point in the survey that doesn't apply to you (EX. 'company name' when you don't have one)? Yeah, me too....

Ever put in something funny and, in your opinion, amusing just to sort of spice it up a little? yeah, me too...

Ever actually have the funny little joke come back to embarrass the heck out of you? yeah, me too.

I have always loved putting in a few little funny things in any type of survey that I get. When I go for spa treatments I give answers to make the person reading it do a double take. There is the standard one where it asks for "sex:" and you write in "yes, please, as often as I can" My personal favorite is when it asks "are you pregnant?" to which I usually respond "If I am I would be written up in medical journals right now". Well, today I found out that one from my past came back to haunt me.

December 16th was the Mrs and my 3rd wedding anniversary. We had a great day of just lazing around the house watching a couple movies followed by a nice dinner out at a great Indian place called Khazana (best briyani rice she has had since coming to Canada) and then a nice walk home in a rather surprising mild evening. We had gotten a call a week ago from Jubilation's dinner theatre mentioning how we are on file, somehow, showing our wedding anniversary on the 16th and that they would like to give us a 25% off for us and any of our guests to come to a dinner theatre evening 30 days after our anniversary. So today, after contacting a couple friends and seeing if they were interested in coming out with us, I called the Jubilation's to set up the reservation. Here is how it went:

(J)ubilation's: Good morning, Jubilation's dinner theatre, how may I help you?

(M)e: Yes, good morning, I was wondering if I could make reservations for the 30th.

J: certainly, can I get your name?

M: Umm, I was wondering, our anniversary was yesterday...

J: happy anniversary

M: thanks...umm, yeah we got a call a week ago saying that we could get a discount cause of our anniversary. Is that still available?

J: of course, you have 30 days after your anniversary to use it.

** a minute of gathering information like what show we are interested in, what date we want, how many people will be attending, the price, seating locations available and gathering of my phone number **

J: Ok, so we are showing *name* with *last name* Business of Pleasure, is this correct?

M: umm...oh...ummm..yeah...yeah, that is me.

J: do you have a corporate account?

M: umm, no..no I don't.

J: well, you would be eligible for a corporate rate so you can have a discount on all your reservations. Just something to keep in mind.

M: Thank you, I will have to keep that in mind.

** we confirm cost, dates and times and say our farewells **

Turns out once when I was filling out the customer appreciation cards at the end of a show a few months ago I happened to put in, for a laugh, under the 'company name' the Business of Pleasure name. I used that name on an answering machine long ago when I was going to college. The answering machine announcement went like:

"Thank you for calling *LAST NAME* Business of Pleasure. None of our service representatives can come to the phone right now because they are out pleasing other clients but if you leave your name and number we will get back to you as soon as possible. And remember, here at *LAST NAME* Business of Pleasure, your pleasure is our business"

So, when I was filling out the form I put it in and I guess they took it seriously and put it down on their file. I mentioned this to the Mrs and she laughed really hard. She kept telling me that I had to post this. I hope that you all find it as amusing as the two of us did.

McDonalds new treats

Just thought I would give people out there a big heads up on the new treats at McDs these days. In particular just two, the S'mores pie and creme brulee McFlurry.

The first one to mention is the S'mores pie and right off the bat it was going to be a disappointment. Not because of the chocolate or marshmellow but because it is simply a McDs pie. I remember the good old days when I was growing up when they deep fried the pies. Back in the good old days when the burgers came in stryofoam containers and the toys were actually kind of cool. Back in the days when the pies were actually sweet and good and the filling was hot. The filling was so hot that the 'caution: filling may be hot' was misleading and it should have read 'caution: filling is molten lava'. The filling was just to the point of melted and I guess I had it standing up in the bag because the first two bites had me eating nothing but dry and tasteless dough. It was then I realized that all the filling had oozed down to the botttom 1/4 of the pie so I turned it around and took a big bite. The filling wasnt too bad though I would have enjoyed it a bit hotter and the fact that I had 1/4 of a pie with actual filling and then 3/4 of over baked, dry and tasteless pie dough. S'mores pie, big disappointment.

Then there was the creme brulee McFlurry. Only thing I can say about this is that it is just soft serve ice cream with a butterscotch sauce whipped into it and bits of toffee in it (sort of like the Skor bits). It wasn't that bad though after having tried the Blizzards at DQ, McDs was a big disappointment.

So far all I can say is that McDs has disappointment me this holiday season when it comes to the new treats and desserts put out so far.

didnt' mention

I forgot to mention, or at least I think I forgot to mention, the best part of my surgery. According to the eye surgeon, I won the 'tightest clencher of the month' award. I seem to have clenched my eyes on the clamp more than anyone else this month so far. Granted, since it was only the 5th day of the month I am hoping that a bigger wuss will come through their doors in the month of December. When I was out in the recovery area and I told this to the guy who was putting the drops in my eyes, he asked if I squeezed so hard that the clamp went flying across the room and I said no and he responded with "you arent the worst so far then".

So I guess there are some redeeming factors to this story.*G*

total wuss

well, first off the good news. I got my call back to return to work. I got a call asking if I wanted to return to work on Dec 16th and work till Jan 20th but due to the holiday plans coming up I couldn't take them up on that offer so had to decline. The result being that I am to return work on January 2nd. So am looking forward to it though on the down side I have been trying to cook here on my time out and so far I have been extremely disappointed with the results. I dont know what it is but everything that I seem to attempt flops. About the only thing that seems to come out decently are the premade 'just add water/milk' things. Really disappointing but am hoping that it is just practice and once I get back to the kitchen I can get back my kitchen groove/mojo. So, yeah me! going back to work. Good thing to because I have been unemployed for nearly 6 weeks now and I think the government has almost decided to grant my EI. Good to know that in a pinch the government pays quickly on the insurance that I pay into on a regular basis everytime I work.

Also, I finally got fed up with my glasses and got LASIK surgery. I was always fed up working in the kitchen when I would look down to see what I was cutting and my glasses would slid down to the end of my nose and I would constantly have to push them up with my shoulder or elbow. There were also the times when I would be asked to go and bring out some stuff from the freezer and, after spending about 3-4 minutes searching for the item, would walk out to a hot and moist kitchen and be totally blind for a good 2 minutes while my glasses defogged, all the while trying to carry 3 boxes full of meat and find a counter to put them down on. There were even a couple times when glasses nearly slid right off my face into the dressings or salads I was making at the time. So when I heard that LASIK had a $499/eye promotion, I jumped at the chance to get an appointment to be looked over.

Though my first lesson with that $499 is just like the cable or internet services that say "$5.99/month" that price usually only applies to them looking at your cable and going "yep, looks like you need our $500/month package". I am pretty sure that the $499/eye price that they are quoting is for people who have 20/20 vision right now but seem to think that they dont and the doctor just brings them in, puts drops in their eyes, tells them to lie on their back and wave a flash light in front of their face to make them think that they had an operation. Won't go quoting numbers, but lets just say that the $499/eye was on the way low end. However, being so fed up with glasses and having them wave 20/20 vision in front of me I signed up. Thus I learned that I am a wuss, total and complete wuss.

I went through the eye test with ease and actually found my dialated pupils really funky. I had to laugh because my pupils were dialated at the beginning of the exam. In this phase they basically took a picture of my inner eye, did a quick eye chart test, flashed lights in my eye and took measurements. I went to the second phase which was a more indepth eye chart test along with colour test before I was told that I was a candidate for LASIK and, lucky luck me, I was also a candidate for the ADVANCED LASIK, what a coincidence. So, not only was I open for an operation that was 2.5 times that of the $499/eye promotion but I was also available for a chance to get the advanced one that would be 3.5 times the promotion.

Difference between the LASIK and the ADVANCED, if you are interested, is that (and this is paraphrased that I sort of put it into my vocabulary cause with me it seems to be easier to just put it into simple phrases than the complex) with the LASIK they basically look into your eye and treat it like a cantalope and scoop out the flesh with a ice cream scoop to make the whole cantalope smooth and even. When it comes to the ADVANCED they take a picture of the whole cantalope and then see what parts need to be smoothed out and brought down to the right level. As you can guess, the ADVANCED is better for future operations since they only scrap off the level of cornea/melon that needs to come out to level it off leaving more cornea/melon available to be scraped out at a later date if needed for correction. The regular LASIK might take more of the melon/cornea down to the point that the cornea/melon might be too thin that it can't be shaved down at a later time.

Anyways, after I finished with my second phase and was put to the third and most enjoyable phase (the price and payment discussion) my eyes were fully dialated meaning that everything, even with my glasses on, had a sort of fuzzy/blurry look to it. I went in to the third phase, meet with a rather blurred faced lady and she started to go through the paperwork for the procedure, first by putting down a post-operative plan for what I should expect of the whole procedure. She calmly picked up all the papers, put one in front of me and started to talk about it, I leaned forward and took a look at a totally blurred piece of paper and leaned back and I guess I had the look of "what the heck are you doing?" (similiar to the look that you might get if you accidentally handed a deaf individual a set of headphones on the airplane) cause she just asked "you had your eyes dialated, didnt you?". With a nod and "yep" she started to read the papers to me and explain it all.

I was in to have my eye test on the Thursday and had my operation on Saturday. I know, rather quick but the next dates were the 19th and 28th of Dec and I wanted to get it down quickly so that I could heal while I was still out of camp. Here is where I know that I am a complete and total wuss when it comes to eye surgery. I have to admit that I have had dental work, stitches sewed into my flesh (as my parents will tell me with much fondess I pretty much had a usual room in the childs section emergency ward in the hospital I was such a curious little kid) and even had two surgeries that required actual flesh cutting and I did not feel as much as 1/4 of the anxiety and stress I felt going through the laser eye surgery. Guess I just dont like having people mess with my eyes, or even put eye drops in my eyes.

During the paper work part of the process one of the assistants asked if I wanted some form of muscle relaxant or anything to help with the anxiety. I said I did so she gave me this little white pill to put under my tongue. Now, they told me it was a an anxiety drug but for all the good it did at the moment I needed it I am sure it was a sugar pill. The lead up was no problem but once I got in the room and they put me on my back the whole thing went nutty. I remember laying on my back and the assistant giving me two 'stress balls', you know the ones that are filled with the beans or some sort of foam that you are to squeeze when you feel stress to help you relax, to hold for the operation. They taped up my left eye and got out an piece of eye equipment that I forget the name of to spread open my eye so I cant blink. Think a spreader that clamps under each lid and then by dialing a screw the spreader opens wider to the point that the doc can work. Then they press a piece of plastic over the eye and apply some pressure to your eye and your vision goes dark. You can experience this by just pushing on your eye till all goes black and you see those wonderful little stars in front of your eyes.

So, the doctor started to put the clamp in my eye and calmly said "ok, now you can start to squeeze on the.....oh, I see you are already doing that". I think from the moment that the assistant had the balls in my hand I instantly had them gripped in a death grip so tight that I was surprised that they didnt break or have my fingers permanantly indented in them. After that it was basically all a blur except for the times that the doctor had to say "ok, you are going to have to breath. Stop clenching your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. Breath.....Ok, don't hyperventalate, slow down your breathing...ok, doing good...remember to breath...breath...in and out...breath...dont hyperventalate" and back and forth through the whole operation. I wish he would just make up his mind. I breath or dont breath...sheesh.

Once my eyes were opened and drops put in with the laser aimed, after a brief buzz and a smell of burning hair (though personally it smelt more like that smell that you get when the dentist drills your fillings/tooth but doesnt put enough lube on the drill and you start to see smoke rising from your tooth), he took it all out and I was done in that eye and, oh joy oh joy, got to do it all again on the next eye.

When the whole operation was finished I guess the assistant figures I was a fainting risk because instead of just going "ok, lets go over to the microscope and take a look now" I got the "ok, whenever you are ready...just breath...when you are ready we can go over to that chair...now right now...whenever you are ready...how are you feeling?....ready? think you can walk?" Personally I was so thrilled to have the clamps out of my eyes that I was ready to walk anywhere they wanted me to to get out of that room as quickly as possible.

So in the end it was done. We were there for about 5 hours, most of it waiting, and the whole thing was done. The Mrs stayed with me the whole time which was really good of her. Granted once I was out of surgery and she heard the above story she got herself a good laugh over it all. After it was all said and done we got a cab home and I got my 2 hour nap, followed by 4 hours of card playing and then back to bed for the night. Now, after my first check up, I am think I am at 20/20 vision. It was so funny when I woke up with the Mrs and I walking around the house putting things up a distance away from me and I was reading boxes and beer bottles from varying distances to prove that my eyes were good. Now I just have 6 more days of putting drops in my eyes on a regular basis and I will be back to normal and not have any more glasses. Well, no more glasses until I turn 40 and need reading glasses as my M-I-L points out to me. *G*

so yeah, that is where I am at the moment. Heading back to work in 4 weeks, parents coming down in about 2 and half weeks and christmas coming up as well. Oh, how I love the holidays*G*

movie reviews

yet another movie marathon happened yesterday. Was nice to get back to the theatres after a long stay away from them. Anyways, here are some brief thoughts about the movies that we went to see.

Christmas Carol 3D (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1067106/) - This one I have to say caught me sort of off guard. Normally when there is a remake or movie from a Christmas Carol I somehow get it into my head that they are going to make it funny or change things here and there. This one, however, right from the get go sticks directly to the book and there are only a few changes in it from what I can remember. There were the famous lines that I remember in most of the christmas carols like the speech Scrooge tells the ghost of Marly why Scrooge doesnt believe his senses that ends with "...there is more of gravy than the grave about you" as well as the Tiny Tim "God bless us everyone". The ghosts were there in all their glory though the ghost of Christmas Past always seems to change but the present and future are all the same (giant and robed skeleton). Carrey does a good job as Scrooge though he doesnt seem, in my mind at least, to give a truely horrible and despicable miser in the beginning and then a joyful and generous Scrooge at the end. Perhaps it is the type casting or stereotyping that I have for Carrey as being the funny man in that even when he is talking about putting the poor into work houses or prisons I seem to be waiting for the wagging tongue or other stupid gag to make the audience laugh. So his Scrooge seems to be in the middle of slightly miser-ish and then, relative to his miser, he can not reach the happy go generous scrooge at the end.

The animation and 3D effects I did find rather enjoyable and interesting. I have read that there were multiple goofs in that way of the skyline in London but to a lay person such as myself we never would have known.

I would say that this one is a good movie to see for the holidays but if you are wanting to introduce the young children to a Christmas Carol tradition then definitly stick with a Muppet Christmas Carol or Mickey's Christmas Carol for the light heartedness and leave this darker one for the young adults and older adults to enjoy. Also, if anyone watches this movie and figures out where the heck the prize sized turkey went with the butcher by Scrooge or why it was sent where it was in the coach, please tell me cause either I blinked and missed that part or missed it for some other reason.

2012 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190080/) - I think the best possible way to describe this movie would be in the two words that were told to me by a friend, and again used by the Mrs when we were walking home. 2012 is pure and simple "disaster porn".

Not really much in the way of story introduction here. 2012, end of the mayan calendar, world gonna come to the end as predicted thousands of years ago, world destruction, one man fights to save his family by getting them to safety. All I can say about this is that the special effects were amazingly good, nice humour used here and there as well as great moments to witness in human sacrifice for their loved ones. However, in the way of the lead character all I can say is that near the end of the movie he has to do some swimming (tsunamis ravaging the world, who isnt gonna be doing some swimming huh?) and I am surprised that he could actually stay afloat with what should have been about 1,000 lucky horse shoes up his butt. I mean, I have seen lucky people in my life and I have even been known to have a stroke of luck now and then but this guy....well, this guy obviously saved up all his lucky karma from his last 5 lives and used them in a 36 hour period of time.

I would say for this film since I wasn't really expecting Oscar award winning performances and writing, I was definitly going for special effects and visual stimulus which I got in spades. Go for the effects, ignore the acting.

The Blind Side (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0878804/) - Heart warming story about a woman that brings in a poor boy, introduces him to the family and he becomes a star football player based on a true story. Sandra Bullock plays a really good strict and forceful mother who takes care of her family. Though as soon as I saw her in this role for the first time I instantly thought "if there is ever going to be a move of Sara Palin, then Bullock has got to play that role". It was definitly a good tear jerking movie (won't list how many times the Mrs shed a tear). Of course with all 'based on true story' movies that I see I always have the question of "did that really happen or was it trumped up for the movie" but I wasn't too concerned with validity but went for the human story of it all. While I wouldn't say that all the acting was Oscar winning, it was definitly on the up side of the ability.

I would put out a warning though to all the men out there saying that while there is football involved this is definitly NOT a male movie...this is a chick flick. So guys, if your gf/so says that you are going to a male football movie called "the Blind Side" then know you are being tricked.

dawn and dusk

Dawn and Dusk are getting cuter and cuter by the day. They have grown so much as well. When they came home we could have lifted them up in the palm of our hands. Now, we can still hold them up in the palm of our hands but more and more of their body hangs out over our hands.

One thing that we have found with the two furballs is that, like all babies, they are at their cutest when they are asleep. When they are awake they are always climbing over us, clawing at our backs and legs and climbing up our legs trying to get attention. Asleep they are like little angels of peace and cuteness. Here are three pictures to show their cuteness in their sleep.



This next one I like to title "Holding The Dream Tight":



However, so sweet and cute in their sleep, but once they are awake...well, take a look at the cheekiness of our little Dusk. I think he is getting tired of us playing with him or taking his photo:

The Men Who Stare At Goats

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234548/

Not really sure how to rate this film. It wasnt totally stupid, but then again it wasnt really hilariously funny. I guess the trailers for me had me hoping for more but what I got was just normal.

Story is of a small town journalist who wants to prove himself as a serious journalist to make his ex-wife (who left him for his editor) jealous and all...wow, dont really see that happening huh? I know, this is based on a real story and in fact there is a disclaimer at the beginning of the film saying that 'more parts of this film are real than you would like to believe'. Anyways, said reporter goes over to the middle east and meets up with a retired 'jedi warrior' that has been trained by the US army. They go in to a war zone to do a 'mission' that the jedi warrior will not talk about and you are subjected to the jedi training that the agent got while being trained by the gov't. To give you a taste of the training, one scene involves how by using the power of his mind he shows the reporter how the agent instills a sense of fear and dread in the reporter so high that the reporter can not attack the agent. The reporter then experiences something that makes him totally incapable of attacking the agent, thus proving his jedi strengths...granted, it could also have been the arm grab and judo flip that put the reporter on his butt and the agents foot on the reporters throat but it has to be the mind strength of the agent.

What made this film enjoyable to watch was how the agent truly believed his jedi strengths and abilities and the look of amazment that someone could be as stupid to believe this. I found it amusing having talked to people who believe so totally with tarot cards, ESP, Sylvia Browne and other mental con artists out there and I could see these people in the agent.

I really wouldnt recommend this movie at full price but would suggest seeing it at the cheap seats or possibly just wait for the video and get it from the library.

Dusk is sleepy

time for some Dusk stories. Dusk is our little male kitty and he has to be the most adventurous and adorable furball we have. Just the other day we had to de-worm them so we put Dawn in one bathroom and Dusk in another. It seems that we had to dab the deworming liquid on the back of their heads and leave them in different rooms cause they would lick the stuff off each other if they were together. Dawn was quiet and all but Dusk found his voice and meowed relentlessly. The Mrs had to use the bathroom and decided to go to the one with Dusk in it cause he was meowing so she thought she would keep him company. She went into the bathroom, raised the lid on the toilet and before she could sit down or do anything Dusk had jumped up and into the toilet. The Mrs thinks it was cause he figured it was an escape route out of the room. He went in and his four paws hit water and quick as he went in he came flying out. We only wish that we had video or pictures of the event.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BK7P5s0vFPY



here is a link, and hopefully the actual video, of Dusk. One thing that we have learned about our furballs is that they seem to have endless amounts of energy to run and play but once that energy runs out it is like a car running out of gas. They will just drop whereever they are and go to sleep. Just last night we were watching The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button and Dusk had climbed up on to the Mrs lap when he started to close his eyes and doze off. We kept waking him up and he would look at us and then go back to sleep again. Here is one clip of him dozing off. We have another one where his head actually goes all the way back and then gravity takes over and it slowly rolls down to the right before he snaps out of it and wakes up. Needless to say, he is adorable when he sleeps.

The Fourth Kind

There are four kinds of bad movies. When movies are bad and you sense that they are going to be bad, that is the first kind; when movies are bad and you see evidence that they are bad, that is the second kind; when movies are really bad and you actually see it in person, that is the third kind; when a movie is really really bad and you are abducted to go and see it by another person, that...that is The Fourth Kind.

Ok, maybe I am getting a little melodramatic about this review. We went and saw The Fourth Kind (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220198/) last night. Basically it is a 'real' account with real footage taken by a psychologist working up in Nome, Alaska back in 2000. It basically is a movie that tells what happened leading up to a moment of terror in the lives of the psychiatrist and the people surrounding her studies. There are scenes that show the actors portraying the actual people and there are often split screen shots where you see the actors sitting in the same position on the right as the 'real' life footage on the left of that actual event that happened back in 2000. The director even synced the voice of the two splits together to the point that they are almost talking in stereo.

For this film there are a couple of aspects to consider. First off, there is the hype and selling point of saying that the film is 'based on real events and backed up by actual audio and video footage' of the event. So, you go in with a case of 'wow, this is real...this is some freaky stuff happening'. However, as posted on the IMDB "Alaska state licensing examiner Jan Mays says she can't find records of an Abigail Tyler ever being licensed in any profession in Alaska. Ron Adler, CEO and director of the Alaska Psychiatric Institute and Denise Dillard, president of the Alaska Psychological Association say they've never heard of Abigail Tyler." There are a few other things in the movie that popped up that had me going "ok, fake" but won't spoil the illusion of it, after all I am just a cynic :-) .

However, take away the hype of the 'real' footage and you are left with a mediocre film with pretty unbelievable acting and story line that would rate it in the area of a B-rated horror flick of the past. I think, however, that might be the one saving praise point that this movie might have in its arsenal. The way that the movie was shot (with the split screens and the 'actual' audio footage) along with the 'testimonies' of the 'real' psychologist Abigail Tyler, this B-rated horror flick actually might be considered to have a higher grade. Nothing more than a B+ rated movie, but still, higher than a B.

For this movie, I would definitly say don't waste time or money in the real theatre but wait to rent it on DVD or, even better, wait for your community library to get it in their collection and borrow it for free and perhaps then in the extras there will be more 'real' video or audio feeds of the abductions and you can have more of a laugh.

Surrogates and Wild Things

Another couple of movie reviews, or at least not reviews but my opinion on the movies.

Where The Wild Things Are (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386117/): Based on the children's book of the same title, it follows a young boy who is out of control in behavior that goes to a far off land full of 'wild things' like himself where he can be free. I remember this book from when I was a young'un and was looking forward to seeing how they managed to lengthen the book. While it does stick to a little bit of the book, there are some changes as expected there to be. However, I found that you really can not take a 20 page children's book (which about 6 pages are pure pictures with no writing, and the other 14 pages have only one sentence on each page) and turn it into a full length feature film. I found this movie to be extremely slow and boring. One could read into the whole symbolic issue of the Wild Things in that they are all pretty much some aspect of an average human personality and the one dominant personality of the Wild Things is the uncontrolled anger that Max (the young boy) shows more often than the others. Even the size of the wild things are sort of related to how strong or prevalent the personality in the boy exist. It has some interesting aspects in that regard but if you are looking for a good time movie to watch, definitely not one in my books.

Surrogates (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0986263/): Bruce Willis plays a cop in a future world where people live and work by using body robots called 'surrogates' while the people stay safe at home in their chairs. You can be anyone or do anything without fear of attack, hurt or death. it all seems like a perfect world until the destruction of a surrogate causes the death of the user making it the first homicide in years. Willis goes about solving the mystery as what is happening and has to deal with both the surrogate users of the world plus the revolutionary band of humans that reject the use of the surrogates. Both the Mrs and I found this to be a good film. Good action, good twists and turns and who can deny the acting ability of Bruce Willis. Figure he is one actor that can spend 45 minutes running through a building, shooting bad guys and doing death defying leaps while mortally wounded and giving witty/glib side comments to the bad guys and then spend the next 20 minutes spilling his characters emotions and feelings and actually make you shed a tear for the guy. There were, of course as always in movies, a few things that made me ask 'why did that happen? what about that? you mean they did that cause of this??? seriously???' but other than that it was a good movie. I would say a movie worth spending the money and seeing.

Though speaking of movies, why are we going through such apocalyptic movies coming out in the next few months? 2012 (An epic adventure about a global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of the heroic struggle of the survivors.), The Book Of Eli (A post-apocalyptic tale, in which a lone man fights his way across America in order to protect a sacred book that holds the secrets to saving humankind.), The Road (A post-apocalyptic tale of a man and his son trying to survive by any means possible) and Legion (After a terrifying biblical apocalypse descends upon the world, a group of strangers stranded in a remote truck stop diner in the Southwest unwittingly become humanity's last line of defense when they discover the diner's young waitress is pregnant with the messiah) to name only a few that come to mind. Why is that Hollywood seems to find a theme for movies and then run it into the ground with all the new releases about that thing. Wasn't it just a while back that superhero movies became the 'thing' and we were swamped with everything from Batman to the Hulk to Fantastic 4. Oh well, guess I will just enjoy the movies that come out and hope that they don't stink too badly.

GPS

I had my first ride in a car that had a GPS unit up and running. I have to say that they are a rather cool device. Though, of course, we all know what happens when I let my mind start to wander and think of things that it shouldn't.

I loved the way that the voice kept telling directions on what to do and where to turn. We would be driving along and all of a sudden an Australian woman would say "turn left on 170 st next 700 metres". Was so neat and funky. Of course, I kept thinking that the GPS was a little too polite, especially when the driver missed a turn here or there and decide to take a quicker route. The GPS just loaded up the map again and kept repeating 'calculating' until it gave an alternate route and then would tell where to turn again to maximize the driving route for that moment in time. I guess I have had a few rather more impolite navigators cause I kept expecting to hear the GPS system say something like "hey, lunk head, you missed the turn...try again in 300 metres" or "why do I even bother giving you directions cause you never listen" or "oh sure, you know best, dont listen to me...you never listen to me".

I think that these GPS systems would definitly sell better if it had a bit more realistic personality.

things that women can do/say and men can't

I have always joked about the Mrs habit of taking photos of babies or kids that are not her own. I would often say to her about how she often had enough pictures of babies to fill at least 5 photo albums and she hadn't even given birth to any of them. Many times we would be walking through the streets of Singapore and she would see kids playing in fountains or on the street and her camera would be out and she would be snapping pictures like mad.

I figure this is something that a man can not do but a woman could do. After all, if you see a woman snapping pictures of babies and kids then you think motherly instincts and no one bats an eye. A guy takes a picture of strangers kids on a playground or fountain and he is instantly a pedophile or some sick pervert and is questioned by the police or even the parents in the playground and probably asked to leave immediately.

I was also laughing at things that a woman can say that a man could definitely not get away with. We went to a friends house on Halloween for a little party and her sister was getting in to the whole mood of the Halloween spirit by dressing up and doing the 'scary' things for the little kids. They had their front yard covered in cardboard grave stones, ghosts hanging from a tree, a brain lit in a jar on the table and even the 'cobwebs' of cotton hanging around to give it an eerie appearance. Whenever trick or treaters came to the door they had to reach in and touch the items that they had in this little container. It held a sort of plastic/soft rubber ear and two fingers. In itself that really is not bad, right? The kicker was in the way that she presented it to the kids that would get smiles and giggles from the parents that were with them but if a guy was to say it and the parents were looking out at the street, I am sure many a butt would have been kicked. She would open the door, look at them and say "I want you to touch something!" Oh yeah, I heard that from the other room and nearly choked on my M&M.

the furballs

Well here are the two little furballs. Dawn has opened up nicely and started to trust us somewhat. She still freezes and will dart if you stand close to her and dont grab her in that 2 seconds time frame but she will now jump up onto the bed in the morning and play. Dusk is still his explorer self, full of wonder and amusement. They have also both taken to going anywhere that we are going. If I am in the bedroom and coming to the living room I have the constant pitter patter of the little horses as they run up the hall trying to catch up to me to make sure they know exactly where I am. Nice to have little furballs in the house again.

movie reviews

Guess since there is nothing new to report from camp, and wont be for a while, guess I will go to something else. Movie reviews. Here are some reviews of movies, old and new, that we have watched over the last week and a half.

The Boy In The Striped Pajamas (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0914798/) : Some would say that this is a holocaust film while others would say that it is more of a family drama that just happened to be set in the area of the holocaust. I would say that it was a 'coming of age' story of a young boy growing up in a time of confusion from the other side of the fence from what I have learned to expect from the age. Basically it is about a young boy whose father is in charge of one of the 'work camps' during the world war. The family is shielded from the real job that the father has and the boy goes exploring and comes across the camp and befriends a boy on the other side of the fence in striped 'pajamas' and spend their time talking through the fence. It was a rather powerful movie which I enjoyed a lot. Even though the boy actor really didnt have that many powerful lines or emotions, his eyes said all that needed to be said in most of his scenes. We got this one on DVD from the library and I do highly recommend it as a moving movie to see.

The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1356380/ ): This is more a TV series than it is a movie but since it was on DVD that we watched it from the library, and it was soooo good, I thought I would mention it. It is about a divorced woman in Africa who starts up a detective agency and makes friends in the 'big city' that she is now living in. The acting is really good, the story (taken from a book series by Alexander McCall Smith) has been well preserved from the book to show, and the casting is really amazing keeping the personality of the characters in the bodies of the people. So many times I read a book and picture the people in my mind and then when it goes to a movie the dumpy and friendly motor mechanic is now being playing by Brad Pitt and you just look and go "WHAT???" This is not one of those books to shows. I hope that it comes to a 2nd or 3rd season but I agree with others assessment that it probably won't see any more seasons since it has no nudity, no swearing, no gun shots/blood/gore or even sex scandals or other things that are on TV today. This is a good and wholesomely pure show that has more intellect than skin.

Weird Science (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090305/ ): an oldie but a goodie. Two nerds create a woman by using their computer and, with her help and some magic, discover their inner selves. Yes yes, I know, a total cliche and total 80's flick but still a good one. Many good laughs in it.

Paranormal Activity (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179904/): This had to be one of the most disappointing films that I have seen. I had it confused going in to it by the Mrs thinking that some of it would be actual footage of a haunting. Turns out that it was all faked. It is sort of like a Blair Witch Project meets Ghost Hunters. Story line goes that a girlfriend is living with her boyfriend and she has had sort of strange sightings and feelings all her life. The usual things like shadows in her room at night, strange footsteps and breathing, noises and things moving when she is out of the room. Her boyfriend brings in a video camera to document the whole thing as they sort of antagonize the 'spirit' into showing itself. Turns out the thing is a demon and many strange things are caught on tape that had the characters (as well as a few really skittish ladies in the audience) freaking out. Turns out the group that I went to the movie with saw this movie to be really boring and annoying to watch. About the only thing of amusment we got from the movie was that apparently the main male character sounded a lot like me in many cases. Like when they have heard footsteps, walls being hit, keys moving, doors opening and closing and finally footsteps appearing by an invisible walker through baby powder on the floor he exclaims many times to the camera and his girlfriend "I have everything under control". Personally, I disagree with this statement with the defence that if I had all that happen to me and actually see footprints appear in baby powder on the floor out of thin air, I don't care who is in the house, if they are there and don't want to leave they are on their own cause I got no control. But since I don't believe in ghosts/hauntings/spirits, that ain't gonna happen. If I could say that if you are going to watch one movie in the next few months, make sure this is NOT even close to the list that you are considering.

The Invention Of Lying (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1058017/ ): Here is another one that I obviously missed the intention of. Most people I talked to seemed to think that this was an amazingly refreshing and funny show. Personally, I found it annoying, boring and just plain stupid. A world where everyone tells the plain out simple truth, which apparently has made them lose their sense of feeling hurt or angry, suddenly gets one citizen that can actually tell a..well...a...there is not a word for it but he can tell "what isn't". While the idea of living in a world of total honesty would be time saving (definitly know whether or not to ask a woman out when the first thing they say to you in a bar is "I am definitly not attracted to you in any way but will go out with you for a free dinner and drinks") and know where you stand (hearing from someone you think is your friend "I hate you but you have a car that I need to get to work so will be friendly to you") it is just annoying to watch. After all, I can see living in a world where you speak the truth but only when you are asked. Why would anyone willingly want to blurt out exactly what they are thinking at every single moment in their life? I am obviously missing the point of this movie cause I found the story to be blah, the acting to be cardboard and 2 dimensional and the whole idea to be something of total stupidity.

Law Abiding Citizen (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1197624/ ): Man loses his family in a home invasion and the DA makes a deal with one of the accused, saving him from the death penalty, because the DA doesn't want to risk going to trial and losing his 97% conviction rate. 10 years later the husband emerges and starts an execution of his own on all the officials in the justice system he feels wronged him and his dead wife and child. The build up in this movie is great, Jamie Foxx and Gerard Butler are great in their roles and the plot/story line to this film are both brilliant. The only complaint about this film is that the ending is really weak. While I can see the reason why they went with the ending, I definitly walked out of there going "but but but..." and wanting more of an ending. A movie with enough twists and turns to make you ask why he did this or that but still is easy enough for you to realize that the puzzle pieces are there for you to solve what is happening.

Whip It (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1172233/ ): A directorial debut of Drew Barrymore about a beauty pagent girl in a small town who chooses to go in to the roller derby scene behind her parents back. I found this film to be a really enjoyable and watchable film. It is almost strange since for some reason the acting is sort of blandish in parts and there were multiple flaws that make me scratch my head and go "WTH???!?!", for example, the 17 year old girl joins the roller derby by telling the coach she is 22, but she doesnt seem to have to produce any documentation or anything to the coach or roller derby league to prove her claim. Nice to know that the underground roller derby league is so trusting that you don't have to actually prove anything but they take tattooed, toothless people at their words. I was able to look past this and just enjoy the movie and the personal characters that were invovled. I think that for her first time in the director chair, Drew Barrymore did a really good job.

So yeah, there are a few movies that we have watched in the last few days. Luckily we had a deal with a 2 for 1 deal and using the cheap coupons from AMA really helped as well. Not to mention buying the popcorn combo with the free refills and keep going back for more refills.

camp life postponed

Well, if anyone out there is looking for updates as to how life in camp is going they may be waiting for roughly 10 more weeks to find out. Got a call from the camp manager the other day telling me, as well as everyone else, that the camp is shutting down through November/December and reopening (hopefully, if you believe them) in January to 170 man camp. So, for the next two months I am unemployed and living with the Mrs full time now.

Originally thought of going on EI but realized that with me trying to sponsor my Mrs to Canada, going on social assistance would not be the best of ideas. Which leads me to look around for work. Going to take a few days, however, first to have a bit of down time and then hopefully will find something either temp through the Xmas season or perm in the south that is decently paying so that I can hang out with my Mrs.

So, will try now to convert this blog from a 'whats wrong with camp life' to a sort of experiment documentation blog of cooking experiments and disasters. Just recently I attempted a Salmon Wellington (salmon fillet baked in a puff pastry shell with spinach and a mushroom paste inside) that turned out not too bad except that with no sauce on it I was told that it was sort of bland tasting. Granted, there were no spice flavorings but all you could taste was a distinct taste of moist salmon as well as the buttery puff pastry. Going to attempt it again over the Christmas holidays when my parents are down and even might try to find a butter sauce recipe to make to put on top of it.

Oh, another thing to mention. We adopted two new kittens from the SPCA.

This one is Dawn. She was originally named Carly Simon but had her name changed upon adoption. Shy and timid she was extremely hard to get out of her shell. Took her about 3 days before she would stand still long enough for us to come up and pet her once before scurrying away to a dark, hard to reach corner. Though now she is opening up and even coming up to us when we sit and watch TV and looks for hugs and cuddles. A true hunter at heart, when we shake the toys around for her instead of pouncing with youthful abandonment with hopes of catching something, she will sit there and study the item, find a recurring movement pattern and then time her attacks to grab it in one shot. Would be rather boring except we often bounce the ball or play toy up and down and it is rather funny to watch her head bounce up and down like a spectator at table tennis match if the ball was going 1000 km/h across the table.



This one is Dusk. He was originally Tom Jones but, again, name change upon adoption. He, as his name suggests, is the total opposite of his sister Dawn. He is an explorer at heart, constantly wandering around the place looking for nooks and crannies not to hide in but find out 'what lives in there?' He has no problems with being picked up and cuddled and every time he is picked up he instantly starts to purr like a little motor boat. Where his sister calmly watches her prey before pouncing, Dusk takes the more aggressive approach to hunting. If Dawn's approach was to be thought of in way of a sniper with a high powered rifle watching closely to get one shot for the prey; Dusk's approach would be that of a guy carrying four sawed off shot-guns who just dives towards what he is after, shooting all the way and hoping that he hits something he is after. So many times poor Dawn has been the victim of a 'drive by pawing' when Dusk sees the toy and starts jumping and swatting at the air hoping to make contact with something.

They were originally part of a 5 kitten litter but we were told by the people at the SPCA that the whole litter had some upper breathing problems that lead to complications and the other three were hit worse than these two and had to be put down. Our two were not as bad and fought back to overcome their health problems and were given a clean bill of health. They actually spent very little time at the SPCA since they were brought out of isolation on the 20th, neutered/spayed on the 21st and put up for adoption on the 22nd and were in their cage for about 5 minutes (we saw the lady come out with them and put them in the cage and then go to get their food and descriptive paperwork) before we decided to start the paperwork to adopt them.

I think one of the reasons we decided to adopt them was that when they got to the cage they both ran to the back and just stood there staring outwards. The cage was at the right height so that the Mrs could look in and see them perfectly but I, being a little taller, had to tilt my head to the side and lean down a little to look past the paperwork hanging on the door as well as the height of the cage. We think Dusk saw me cause as soon as I looked down at him he tilted his head the same way I was and looked out at me as if he was saying "ok, so this is how we look and greet people? if you want to, oh strange one". Dawn just sat there with a furry Ewok looking face like she didn't know what was happening. So, we had to adopt them both since you can't break up a brother/sister litter that had been through something like they had.

They are the perfect complimentary pair and as soon as we can teach them what they can and can not jump up on, as well as what they can and can not bite/nibble on, they will be the perfect house companions.

parole again....

well time to leave camp. Gonna be out for 3 weeks this time, which is both a good and a bad thing. Good thing cause I get to spend 3 weeks with the Mrs relaxing and all...bad thing cause that is 3 weeks with no money coming in. So, definitly gonna be spending quality time hanging out at home with the Mrs, trying to have fun on a tight budget.

Time in camp this time around has been interesting. Honestly, there hasn't been that many stories to tell, or the stories are basically the same thing over again just different characters but the plot stays the same. Though I asked if my rotation could be changed so that I am not in for 2 weeks with Tony 2 but instead move it so that my entire time in camp matches Curtis'. Why? well, when Tony 2 is in camp the menu looks like 'deep fried sole, roasted chicken breasts, pot roast', very normal, dependable...dare we say 'boring' food. Then Curtis comes in and all of a sudden we have 'lobster stuffed sole, veal Parmesan cutlets, rack of lamb and spatzel'. Even when Curtis does chicken breasts he goes more than just take the breast, sprinkle seasoning on it and bake it...he makes a rub, marinates it for a day, throws it in a hot pan for a second and then bakes it. Ginger beef for Chinese food is more than just cut up beef with flour (AAHHHHH, my deepest apologies for the previous spelling boondoggle) deep fried with plum sauce mixed with some ginger. He actually makes a ginger sauce using nearly 1lbs of ginger.

Yesterday we made spatzel. Normally it is a german dumpling like noodle that is pushed through a noodle press, but due to lack of equipment we had to improvise. Instead of long noodles we ended up with little small niblet noodles. When I say 'we' it is not the royal we of him doing all the work and I take credit, we did it together. He got the recipe, I assembled the items, I mixed the eggs while he added the flour to get the right consistency, he did one batch quickly to show me how it is done and then walked away while I finished off the rest of the batches. They turned out really good. The noodles are going to be cooked with the veal cutlets on Thursday on the grill with garlic butter and then tossed with the gravy and served. I got a little bowl, as well as a minor cooking lesson, and they tasted great. However, due to the guys not liking to eat anything out here out of the ordinary, they probably wont touch it.

Oh, another thing that he did was made salmon wellington. I have always wanted to try beef wellington but can never find a place in Edmonton that serves it. I have always heard Ramsay screaming how the beef wellington is over cooked/under cooked/raw or just plain 'crap' on Hell's Kitchen and have always wondered what it would be like. For the salmon wellington he made a duck-cell (that is how it sounds, but no idea how it is spelt. Chopped up mushrooms with diced onion and garlic, cooked till almost dry, thickened with cream and cooled), seared the salmon steaks, stacked spinach/salmon/duck-cell and then wrapped it in a puff pastry like a pizza pocket and baked golden brown. Served with a nice butter sauce, the dish was amazing. However, he made 7 of them for 60 men and only two of them went. Guess if fish is not baked in butter and served plain they don't want to eat it.

So, yeah, now I leave camp and head home to spend time with the Mrs. Try my hand at cooking a bit more. Have been told by my parents that I have to practice the salmon wellington myself cause they want to try it. I think I can pull of the wellington whereas the butter sauce a different story. So off I go to rest and recoup. Write more again in three weeks, or possibly sooner if something interesting happens out of camp.

definitions in camp

Thought I would share a little story that is being repeated again and again in the camp kitchen. It involves Radio, the dishwasher and the 1st cook (who was the witness so we know that the dishwasher is no exaggerating like he usually does).

Radio was talking to the dishwasher about doing some other jobs around the camp during the slow times in the kitchen. Personally, this in itself boggles my mind considering that the dining area appliances have not been cleaned in two weeks, as I was the last one to clean them all when I was the dishwasher and it is part of the dishwashers job during the day to keep the dining area clean and in order. The current dishwasher just comes in, does the dishes that have piled up over the 45 minute period complaining about how cooks make too many dishes and then disappears for 45 minutes instead of doing the cleaning in the front. But anyways, Radio always tries to tell this dishwasher to go and do other little odd jobs around the camp. So, here is how the conversation played out, though I will take out the swearing cause except for one part it really is not needed. Though if you want, throw in derogatory statements to the dishwasher by Radio and Radio by the dishwasher randomly about every 2nd to 3rd word and you will have the whole conversation:

Radio (R): Ok, when the guys are done with their job you are going to go with them to clean the new camp.

Dishwasher (DW): right, how long will that be?

R: I don't know. Not sure how long it will take them.

D: what are they doing that you dont know how long it will take?

R: they are draining the berm.

D: what is a berm?

R: *scratches his head, looks around in confusion* ummm..a berm...well a berm is...a berm is like...a berm is sort of...*blurts out in frustration* Well, it is a mother F*%*%n berm!

D: *looks in confusion*

1st cook: ok then, thanks for clearing up that confusion.

R: *mutters some curses and derogatory statements at the two and walks off quickly*

So, now of course, after this little conversation happened the whole week has been filled with little snippets of it, plus the whole story. The 1st cook and dishwasher will randomly come by each other and ask "so, exactly what is a berm?" to which the response is exactly what Radio said "well, it is a mother F%&^$ berm!". There is also a twist on the conversation where they will pick random things and ask about them. For example:

"are there any shallots in the fridge?"

"whats a shallot?"

"well, it is a mother F&%^$n shallot!"

so, yeah, those are the people that I get to work with. Today is fly day but does not look promising. Cloud ceiling at 900 feet, freezing rain and high winds are making all contributing to it being iffy that anyone is going to be flying today. Which does not phase me much since I am not flying but the people today are going to be a little annoyed. As long as it is clear for next week. I was also thinking how it is funny that when I am returning to camp to work, I always seem to get the aged/experienced pilot that no matter what the weather is like he will fly and land the plane. It could be total fog as far as the eye can see, so thick that you could literally cut it with a knife and serve it on a piece of bread; or winds blowing like a tornado with rain coming down so much that you might see a 200 year old man out on the tundra building a big boat and telling the rabbits 'no, only two...only two!' with Zeus himself throwing lightening bolts at the plane for target practice and the pilot will fly and land that plane. But when I am leaving camp to go home to the Mrs, I get a pilot that if even one snow flake falls or there is a slight breeze in the air, the pilot deems it unsafe to fly and the whole flight is cancelled. Guess it is just my luck huh? guess we will just see what happens later today and next Wednesday.

what happens when my mind wanders in camp...

Ok, this really doesnt have anything to do with camp, just random thoughts of my idle mind. So, not saying others might find this interesting, just something that popped to my head cause...well, cause I think too much in camp.

Yesterday at dinner the dishwasher, cook and sewage plant worker were talking about wild animals in their region. They were talking about elks, moose and other big animals and where they live in certain regions where the sewage plant worker (we call him 'jr pooh' cause he replaces the main worker 'pooh' or 'pooh sr') lives. They were talking about hunting so of course my mind just zoned out of the conversation since I never really had the chance to go hunting and dont think I would enjoy it either. I happened to zone in just at the moment when the dishwasher asked Jr pooh 'so, can you find any cougars there?'. Now, first thing my mind did was try to figure out how exactly he was going to work in the answer to that one, and sure enough the answer came in a form that I had not expected but the subject and word play was still there. He responded with "it all depends on what bar you look in". The cook and I both got it and I had to tell him that I knew it was coming but wasnt sure how he was going to work it in. I dont think the dishwasher got it so Jr pooh had to answer with the real answer of 'not yet, too late in the season..." and then I zoned out cause they were going about hunting again.

Here is where my mind started to go into its wandering state. I remembered the definition of a 'cougar' as being 'an older woman that is attracted to younger men'. I also remembered that there was actually an equation used to figure out if the woman is a cougar or not. If you take the woman's age, divide it by half and then add 7 to it, that would be the age that the man would have to be or younger for her to be classed as a cougar. So, a 40 year old woman (40 divided in half is 20 add 7 is 27) dating a man 27 years old or younger would be classified as a cougar.

This got me thinking about pushing the limit, cause I am me. If that equation stands, and taken the habit of teens dating younger and younger these days, technically a girl at the age of 14 dating another guy at the age of 14 is actually a cougar, since half of 14 is 7 and add 7 you are at 14 again. Then I though, so that would mean that any girl under the age of 14 that is attracting or 'dating' a guy that is older than 14 is considered a cougar as well? So a girl of 12 (12 divided in half is 6 plus 7 is 13) dating or attracted to a 13 year old guy is a cougar. Interesting....Not going to say comfortable or good to know, but interesting to think about.

I then had to ask the table if an older woman attracted to a younger guy is a cougar, what is the term used for an older man attracted to a much younger woman. Apparently the table agreed on the term 'creep' or 'creepy'. Anyone know if there is a different term used?

Yeah, not really interesting, just something that happens when my mind wanders out without a chaperone.

thanksgiving in camp

Ahhh, thanksgiving in camp. Gotta love it. It seems that last year there was a major blunder of epic propotions in one of the camps in that they did not serve turkey on thanksgiving sunday. This wasnt because the cooks didnt cook it but because the manager forgot to order it so there was no bird to roast. This year, either the manager wanted to make sure that we had enough turkey or a mix up in the shipping people at the store but we had 20 turkeys in camp. Apparently we had 4 cases of it already (two birds a case giving us 8 birds already) and the manager wrote down '8' on the order sheet for more turkey. The suppliers sent us 8 more cases (16 birds in total). Now the manager was defending himself saying the order sheet said 'turkeys 8-11kg each' so he took that to meaning he was ordering either 8-11kg turkies, but the suppliers might be going by the thought that it meant the case would have two 8-11kg each turkey per case. Either which way, we now have a load of turkey waiting in camp to be eaten.

So supper last night for us was turkey, baked lemon garlic salmon, alfredo pasta, mashed taters, stuffing, green peas and glazed carrots/turnips with turkey gravy. Also, we had the dessert fridge pretty much full of pumpkin pie as well as a few cheesecakes and apple turnovers. I ate too much turkey and also took a nice container full of stuffing and turkey to bed with me. Ahhh, nothing like a good thanksgiving feast.

Though I have found out that not only do I have the taste buds of a water buffalo (when I tried the pork gravy one of the cooks was making and told him it tasted 'beefy') but I now have been told I have the smelling ability of...well, basically I have no smelling ability whatsoever. I was in charge of making the mashed potatoes, which in itself is a comic point since I have screwed up so many potato dishes already under the eye of the camp manager. First was the 'scalloped potato incident of Misery' where I used so much pepper my mistake that they actually came out grey instead of creamy white; second was my 'potatoes in roast beef drippings' (cant remember the name of them off the top of my head) that I over cooked (even though I followed the recipe) and they turned out to be mashed potatoes in gravy and could not be served; fourth was when I steamed potatoes for duchess and set them out to 'rest' and dry out but left them too long and they turned to a glue in the mixing bowl that could not be saved; and the final was my duchess potatoes that I listened to one of the cooks and didnt put any liquids in and it came out like towers of concrete. So I mixed the taters with the seasoning and milk and then decided that I did not want to walk all the way out to the milk machine to get more milk since they were still a little dry but instead went to get some cream from the cooler. I brought out one carton and took a sniff and thought that it had a sort of funny smell to it but was questioning it. The manager was walking by so I mentioned that I thought it was slightly funny and he took a smell of it.

I remember a comedian had a routine about how men and women differ when it comes to keeping things in the fridge. One thing he mentioned was about the milk. A woman will keep milk until there is a slight odor and then it is pitched whereas a man goes by the 'head snap' technique. He smells the milk and if his head snaps back less than 4 inches from the container then it can still stay in the fridge, any more than 4 inches and it gets pitched. Well, judging by the camp managers reaction to the cream smell it not only should have been pitched but pitched into a shuttle that is heading off in to deep space at warp speed. I honestly did not think it smelled all that bad. Though I think one factor for him is that he hates milk. He wont even drink or smell fresh milk because he says that smells horrible and disgusting to him, so slightly sour might be to him like 2 year old chunky milk to me.

So we went through 4 cartons of cream before I finally told them that I could not smell anything from the one I was holding and he smelled it and said that this was a good one. Apparently cream/milk has no smell whatsoever. It should be like creamy water in his world. So I had to dump the 4 cartons (which we were surprised were sour since they were dated the 13 of Oct) and I took the last carton to the mashed potatoes. Used a good portion of it and I have to say that for once I had success with my mashed taters. Normally they are soft and creamy in the bowl but as soon as they hit the line they start to firm up till the end of dinner shift where it is like cutting out a block of concrete to put on your plate. This time they stayed soft and creamy right through till the end of service.

The best part about thanksgiving is now to come. We cooked way too much turkey and now have nearly two birds in the fridge. We all know what that means, right? hot turkey sandwiches loaded with gravy as well as turkey pot pie, turkey a la king, cream of turkey soup...oh yeah, glorious left over turkey for at least a week :-)

Happy Thanksgiving!

May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump.


May your potatoes ' n gravy have nary a lump.


May your yams be delicious. May your pies take the prize.


May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.


MAY YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED THANKSGIVING!

thanks A.G. for the poem and well wish in the email.

strippers and running a slow treadmill

I will never feel bad about going to a strip club again and spending $45 on drinks and tossing a few loonies at the strippers. Ok, I am pretty sure I have shattered some good guy image that I have had and I am sure I just gave my mother a heart attack but figure being 30+ and male I can admit to going to a strip club a couple times in my life. Anyways, why would I never feel bad about wasting my money on such pursuits? Let me tell you a story about one of the girls here in camp.

She went to New York with a friend for a little over a week. Did a lot of things and had a pretty decent time though has said she will never return to New York ever again. Seems it is too crowded and dirty for her liking. One of the stories that she had to tell was that she went to a strip club with her friend (male platonic friend) and had a little bit much to drink and ended up walking away with a US$7500 bill for both her friend and her. Of course we had to double check the amount she said and it was $7500. We had to ask what the heck could you do in a strip club for $7500 and how many days were they in the club to spend that kind of money. Apparently it was in a 7 hour stint that they managed to spend that kind of money. Apparently she was drinking vodka and sprites at US$17 a glass (which I have not seen prices like that for alcohol since I paid $22 in Singapore for a paralyzer) and after a few too many of those decided that they required a room with two strippers. Of course, now you are running a $2000/hour room charge. I hear that she was in the room for 3 hours. So after a $6000 for the room and a $1500 alcohol and other expense bill, they left the bar at 4 am. What is the lesson that she learned after all this? some people in camp should NOT be set free on civilization after spending 6 weeks in a small remote camp in the middle of the arctic.

On a different note, I am definitly finding camp a bit different this time in than all the other times. Our numbers have dropped greatly in the last two weeks and you can sure feel the difference. When I got to camp 2 weeks ago we were at 104 people and I was in the dishpit. I was jumping during lunch and dinner rushes (which I really enjoyed cause it makes the day and night go by sooo much faster when you are busy). Then when I got to 2nd cook we had numbers as high as 111 and as low as 95. I was making salads using the large plastic containers and would have enough left over at the end of the evening to put in a half pan to serve for lunch. Now, in the span of 5 days we dropped from 97 people down to 62. What is that like? I am relating the feeling at the moment to one of two things.

Have you ever been shopping in a mall and you know exactly where you are going and what you need to get. So you get in to the mall, dash to the store and find the exact item you want, rush out of the store and are halfway back to your car when all of a sudden the hallway packs with people and you have to slow down from your mad dash to a crawl because you find yourself walking slowly behind an 80 year old grandmother and her 3 darling little grandchild that can't seem to decide on the same direction but keep walking exactly where you want to walk. Your insides and legs want to fly ahead but you physically can't and you just trudge along at a slow pace.

OR

You are on a tread mill and going for your daily jog. You are really pounding off the miles at a really fast pace (possibly hitting number 9 on the speed scale) and are really happy with your progress. Suddenly someone (possibly your annoying little brother/sister or jokester wife/husband) and smiles at you and presses the 2 button for speed. Suddenly your feet, and body, are going way faster than the treadmill treads are going and you find yourself slammed in to the front part, causing you to lose your footing and stumble uncontrollablly backwards off the machine and hit solid pavement. However, your legs and feet, still accustomed to the fast pace of the treadmill, are still moving forward but that darn floor has decided to stay stationary and you find yourself moving forward onto the treadmill again but tripping and falling flat on your face.

So, yeah, basically that is what I find myself doing with the smaller numbers. I fly ahead with my daily routine, get all the fixings for the salads and start prepping and doing my work and then all of a sudden remember that I am making salads for 60 and not 110 now and look down and see that I have a full bus tub full of the salad I was making when 1/4 of that tub would be fine. I try to stop myself but keep feeling like I should be doing something. After rushing around for so long trying to do everything, now when I have nothing to do I feel like I am missing something. But I had best get used to things since we are supposedly going to drop again in numbers from 60 down to 30. The conflicting rumours are that it might happen as soon as mid of this month but also some are saying nearing the end of Dec. Will have to wait and see what happens.

All I know is that I am happy to partake in the desserts in the dessert fridge (the new baker makes a pecan pie that is absolute heaven in a pie crust) and just enjoying the food that we have.

winter wonder land has arrived

I am not sure when it arrived since I really do not go outside that much. To be honest, I don't go outside at all if I can help it. I arrive on the big yellow bus from the airstrip at the camp, walk in the doors and then stay indoors for the weeks I am in until it is check out time and I walk out the doors I came in to go to the big yellow bus to take me to the plane. So when someone told me that it was a winter wonderland out there I was confused till I ventured to the back loading dock and looked outside, briefly. It appears that we have gotten a dump of snow. It is about 1 inch deep now and has stuck around for a good few days now. I am guessing on the time because it is recently they have mentioned winter wonderland and when I looked out it was still there and no one has mentioned repeated snow fall. So I am guessing that means that the snow came a few days ago and has decided to stick around. So, winter is finally in the air and hear and I can be happy (even more so) that I have an inside job.

Not really sure if the people here have actually smartened up or if I have just become habitualized to their stupidity, but not that many funny stories happening. About the only thing that has happened that makes me shake my head and go "What the hell?" is the other day when we didn't have a menu for next week. Normally we have a menu planned about 2 weeks ahead so that the cook can pull meats and I can prep up the veggies required for the upcoming days. Nothing worse than having a busy day and walking in to the kitchen and the cook going "oh, yeah, by the way, gonna need 2 buckets of carrots peeled and sliced for dinner tonight". Though I do admit that it is good training for when the Mrs and I have kids and I am tucking them in to bed at 8pm and they tell me "oh yeah, by the way, I need a pirate costume and 80 cupcakes and 50 cookies for school tomorrow for pirate day" Anyways, so the cook had the entire menu up for the next two weeks and Radio comes in, looks at the menu and erases the whole thing saying it was a bad menu and he would put up the menu. That was about a week and a half ago. For a week and a half we had no menu, no idea what was coming up and what was going to happen. Finally on Sunday afternoon he walks in with a menu (not for two weeks but for one week) and holds it up and announces that he has the menu like he had just mapped human DNA. Our menu week runs from Monday to Sunday, so we had no clue what we were doing the next day for a menu.

Oh, one thing was mentioned the other day that I had to laugh over. The dishwasher and 1st cook were all standing around the doorway looking out at the two girls that were in the dining room. They were talking about them and mentioned how they both had put on a lot of weight since starting at camp 5 months ago. They mentioned things like how the one girl used to wear nice fitting jeans or spandex tights around camp and all. Now she is wearing baggy jogging pants but you can still see that they are becoming less baggy as the months go along. I walked over and asked what they were talking about and they told me that they were noticing how all the girls were putting on weight. I looked around and then said "you know, I think it is a case that we all put on weight when we are in camp but we just notice it on the women cause we are always looking and checking them out. I mean, how often have you checked out Shane or Bill?" Both of them looked at me, then at each other and got a sort of blank look on their face. I walked away and let them ponder that one for a bit.

close encounter of the furry kind

Looks like we have had our first kitchen ‘close encounter of the furry kind’. Now we are not new to the furry wild life coming by the camp for a quick look see and all. For instance, in Windy we had Harry and Sammy the sicsic that kept coming by for a quick visit. I still can’t fathom how Harry would run in through the back kitchen door and know the exact route to take that would take him through the kitchen, dining room, down the hall and apparently out his escape hole back outside the camp so that he could walk around the camp to the kitchen door and try it again. We had dear old Cheeko in Tahera. That funky little fox that would come up to the door and wait for people to come out with the look on his face like “so, you gonna feed me or what?”. We have even had ravens dive bomb out of the blue sky and take steaks right off the BBQ, possibly burning their face and feet as they did it. There was even a time in another camp when Ron went to the back loading dock to get something and he saw a furry animal (he swears it was a wolverine but could have been a fox or possibly a small wolf) inside the camp in the loading dock. It was only after he hit the table with an oven mitt that the furry creature disappeared outside again. Then of course there was my first encounter of furry creatures of George the wolverine that was scratching outside the camp on the wall just by my bed and when I scratched back to see if I could startle him he felt that there was food on the other side of the wall and started to scratch faster. However, I think they all take a back seat to this close encounter.

It seems that the other night our night janitor/breakfast cook/dishwasher (we are a little short handed at the moment) went out to the back entrance for a smoke. It seems that during the spring/summer/autumn months it is more enjoyable to have a smoke outside than it is to walk down to the smoke room and sit in there and smoke. He was on his way out and had just opened the door and had one foot outside when he stopped and sensed something was wrong. He looked down and to the right and that is when he saw it.
Now, picture this. A door to the camp and that opens out to a landing deck. The deck is about 8 feet long by maybe 4 feet or so wide and runs alongside of the wall of the camp. Right outside the door attached to the deck is a set of stairs leading down to the ground. So, basically it forms an ‘L’ shape where the vertical part of the L is the deck and the horizontal part of the L is the steps leading down and the door is at the point where the two meet.

Now, he is standing at the door point and right at the end of the deck, standing on the ground with one paw on the deck and standing somewhat up is a bear. The way he tells the story is that he stood there for a few seconds with the look of “oh my god, is that a bear? Never been this close to one before” on his face and the bear apparently had a look of “oh my god, is that a human? Never been this close to one before” on it’s face. He then slowly stepped back inside and closed the door for a second and then got that “am I going crazy?” sort of thought so he cracked open the door and looked outside and sure enough the bear was still there. It would have been like when Tweety Bird in the cartoons goes “I taught I taw a puddy tat!” and then looks again and goes “I did, I did dee a puddy tat!”.

Of course, after that night he now goes to work with his camera and carries it out with him whenever he goes for a smoke, just in case. Though in my experience I could tell him that it won’t help. Countless times I have gone out and have seen nice sunsets/rises or furry creatures or amazing birds out on the tundra and then carried my camera around to work for weeks with no sightings, but as soon as you don’t have your camera, they all come out and almost tap dance down the tundra as a way of mocking you for not having a camera.

Other than that, life out here has been sort of dull. Well, sort of dull except we have been given a whole load of work on us. Went from dishwasher to 2nd cook on Wednesday and for some reason we were supposed to go down in numbers from 90 to 60 people on Wednesday but went up to 110. Of course, we all plan the schedule for the 60 people and have a few people in camp so now that it is 110 we are taking on extra positions. Our breakfast cook is the night janitor and morning dishwasher, I am making sandwiches and doing breakfast prep cause he is busy with his night janitor; the baker also helps out with the breakfast in the morning; one of our housekeepers is the day janitor and housekeeper while the other is just a housekeeper. I would say that the only person in camp that hasn’t taken on extra duties to help make all the work possible during the day is the 1st cook, who seems to have stuck with just his duty of preparing meals. He is also the only one in camp that seems to have the time to take his coffee break in the morning, full lunch break, coffee break in the afternoon, break in the middle of the afternoon as well as a supper break. Funny how that sort of thing happens I guess.

sleeping in meetings

Remember how I mentioned the fire safety meeting and how it was run by Abbot from Abbot and Costello? well, I have now discovered that their ability to be dimwits in meetings is not due to inexperience. These guys actually have lesser important meetings where they can practice their skills at being inefficient time wasters. It seems that ever month they have a big general safety meeting where every department has a representative and one day they do a tour of the entire camp (the whole lot of about 10 people) and write down all the safety hazards that they see in their, or other peoples, areas. They will then have a short meeting about what they have witnessed of problems. This allows the representatives to become aware of those problems and try to make corrections. The next day they will gather for another meeting in a conference room to discuss the minutes of the last months meeting as well as go over the things that they have seen and how it is going to be corrected. In theory, when you hear it, this sounds perfectly acceptable and is even a smart thing to do. But, like the saying goes "make a trap idiot proof and someone is just going to build a better idiot".

First off there was a motion brought up and discussed for about 10 minutes on how they should have the tour and then wait for about a week before the meeting to discuss what has been done to fix the things that they saw on the tour. Seems 24 hours to fix major problems like spills, lack of signing and possibly lose or dangers wires is just too short a time. Now, if this was the first or second meeting ever in this fashion I can say "ok, no problem. They are working out the kinks". However, these meetings have been going on since November of last year. Guess it took them 10 meetings to realize "hey, this whole tour and then meeting in a 24 hour period is kinda hard..maybe we should slow it down". As well, needing 10 minutes to discuss it? mention we should have a week, evidence that it is hard to get things done, motion seconded and passed and move on; 4 minutes tops.

I had my one and only laugh in the meeting when they discussed an incident about a guy in a pick up truck that nearly drove off the road because he was 'distracted by mosquitoes'. Yeah, ok, lesson learned. Don't swat mosquitoes in your truck when you are driving. Loved how that made it to the incident reports for the month. Figure if I was in that truck and did that, I wouldn't tell anyone.

Once they started talking about how there was a problem with the main entrance steps, seems they were lowered by an inch and now causing pain to workers that are not used to the drop when they step out and fall that extra inch, I fell asleep. We aren't talking bobbing for apples kind of dozing that you do in a car or on a plane, but we are talking full bore 'head on chest, hands in lap, snoring and possibly drooling' sleep. The safety guy (replacement to the one that held the fire safety meeting) caught me and said that there was no sleeping in a safety meeting. At that moment I wished I had the presense of mind to wake up with a jerk and go "say something of importance or interest and I will stay awake". Instead all I got out was the witty "am up...am up" with a wide eyed look like a 2nd grader that has just been caught napping in English class. So far I have been treated as a type of celebrity. Apparently falling asleep in one of these waste of time meetings has been the dream of all people that have attended but they have never actually done it.

I mean, how can you honestly stay awake and take the meeting seriously when the main safety person calls helicopter pilots 'glorified taxi drivers'? There was a safety incident reported last month where a small window in the helicopter was cracked. Something about a basket was removed to store cargo and the passenger put something where it shouldn't have been and when a door closed it went through the small window. Upon mentioning this the main safety guy basically said "in my opinion, these helicopter pilots are glorified taxi drivers. The pilot may be in charge of the craft but the passenger is in charge of his possessions. Whereever the passenger wants to put his equipment, he puts it. The pilot has no say in the matter." No one said anything about it. So either they were like me and so stunned at this stupid statement or they were all to worried about saying something and possibly losing their job or offending someone that could make their life miserable with paperwork. The passenger might be in charge of their belongings but if the pilot tells you to put something somewhere you listen or else don't get in the stupid helicopter. When you can fly the thing yourself and take responsibility for the expensive piece of equipment then you can call them taxi drivers.

Either which way, now I have a better idea as to what these people do all day. Mindless meetings which are good in theory but are a waste of time once mismanaged and not taken seriously.

back in camp

well, the fun and relaxing days are over and it is back to the usual grind. Nothing really new to say.

So far the funniest thing that happened in the last couple days was yesterday one of the geo-techs was at the pastry counter and was going to pack some cookies out to his work area. No worries there but he was trying to get a paper bag to do this. Here is where it gets interesting. Picture a cabinet with 4 holes to hold stuff in a 2x2 design. The lower 2 are directly at eye level (probably around 5'5" high) and the other 2 are higher up around the 6 foot mark or slightly higher. On the lower shelves in one section I have sandwich bags (with 3 opened up) and paper bags all loose and free to grab easily. In the other section are tin take out containers and lids (similiar to the tin containers you would get from a chinese take out place). On the higher, more difficult levels, are paper bags still in their tightly wrapped shipping wrappings and more boxes of sandwich bags but none of them opened. Yesterday I watched a geo-tech walk in and reach up and try to get a paper bag out of the wrapping. Now, these wrappings are not loose and you literally have to rip off the wrapping to get the bag out. He stood there, struggling trying to get it out for a good 30 to 45 seconds before I called out to him about the loose bags. The thing that got me laughing is that you know when you are reaching for something or doing something too high, instead of looking up at it you sort of let your head go to eye level and you go sort of by feel. Well he did that and directly not even 2 inches from his nose was two stacks of loose, easily grabable, paper bags. It would be like a lumber jack going to cut down trees but not being able to because he was looking at the forest. I let him struggle for the 30 seconds before saying "you know there are loose ones to your left". He managed to find them and get his treats for the day.

Getting darker up here, sunlight wise. The weather has been raining and snowing on and off for the last couple days causing people to be a little more miserable than normal. Not everyone seems to enjoy the solitude and all of camp life, though I sometimes don't really mind it. If there was any one thing I can honestly say I enjoy about the north in the wintertime is the lack of sunlight in the evenings. During the summer it is always so difficult going to sleep with the sunlight streaming in the windows. Our curtains are not bad at keeping out the light but not perfect. Now I go to bed in darkness around 11pm or so and I wake up to darkness around 6am or so. Soon the night shift will be happy as well cause we will soon have 24 hours darkness and they will be able to sleep.